The best version of myself

Each and every day.

I will handle variance like a fucking champion.  I will make non-emotional decisions day in and day out.  I will not use the excuse of, "I'm playing tight/aggressive/solid to lower variance" as an excuse to make poor passive decisions.  Aggressive, fearless poker gets the $$$.  I will take advantage of my opponents weakness and pounce on opportunities when I see them/my spider sense goes off.  I will play extremely fearless/aggressive which also sets up a great table image getting me paid.

I will not be a pussy.

I will wake up and do push ups.  I will do 100 jumping jacks.  I will do sit ups.

When feeling frustrated at the tables I will go outside, take a deep breath and re-focus my mind.  I will use the mantra, "this is all a dream... not a grind".  I LOVE playing poker.  I have a bankroll.  I've worked extremely hard to get to this point and I will not let a little bad run turn me into a cry baby whining fucking pussy.

I am the best player @ the table 90% of the time.  This is not ego; this is truth.  I most likely have the most experience out of all the regs in my current local poker community.

I will play top notch poker each and every day -- saving and focusing before I head to Australia/New Zealand.

Remember:

NOTHING IS STOPPING ME FROM MY GOALS EXCEPT MYSELF

A fucked up PLO hand

I'm very sad as I'm coming off yet another losing trip.  Dropped into Biloxi while driving cross country and ground out 3 working days over weekend.  Lost.  Spent last week in Jax and was about even overall -- after tournament expenses.  Find myself in a $5/$10/$25 PLO game where I get 150bb's in pre-flop with AA/9/5 dry vs K/8s/J/10s .

I have about 5/6% equity, we run it twice.

On the first board my opponent hits a flush(where I hold the A blocker).  and on the 2nd board it runs out Q/2/9/4 and the dealer slams down a 6.  We're chopping.  Unfortunately the, "Last card doesn't play".  so the 6 comes back -- the cards are re-shuffled and Cut.  A player says, "you're not supposed to cut" so the dealer re-shuffles.  River pops off: Ko giving opponent straight.  I get stacked.

Mega tilt.

Last day of trip and I'm extremely fucking upset.  I'm not sure how much longer I can continue to sit and play live poker for a living.  It's so very slow and extremely non-appealing and not soul fulfilling.

The winning just doesn't out-weigh the losing.