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TheRealKram420's Blog

Friday, August 19, 2016

the Age old question; when do I leave the table?

I've been struggling as of late; my hourly is at an all time low. This could be due to playing on the road, variance, poor play, lack of hours -- I'm not sure... but I do know that after over a decade long of playing Poker at a serious level I'm still struggling with when to leave the table.

I run the thought of Daniel Negreanu's, "Hours over results" into my head all the time. I, for the most part -- consistently obtain 40 hours/week of poker on a year to year basis. Problem is -- I take a lot of extended time off; and my results actually show a higher hourly when I'm playing LESS hours (30-35 hrs) I also do not obtain these hours steadily. Once Thanksgiving -->> New Year roll around; it's family/friend time and there's a lot of drinking and socializing going on. What's the point of having the fringe benefit of freedom if I don't take advantage of it?

mmm, ok -- so.... lets shoot back a couple weeks.

Was running over a $100 hourly in a week and a half span playing $2/$5 while in Oklahoma. Unfortunately -- on my last few days there I dumped $3,000-$4,000 in ONE session. Long story short there was a guy who was brain dead putting it in blind and I couldn't get the monies. Why did I continue playing? It wasn't greed -- it was that I had put myself into a profitable situation and felt that I should continue on. Problem is -- it really hurt my will to play during the end of the trips duration. I fell into a mini poker depression and went into room service/cable TV mode for days on end. This isn't healthy and should be avoided at all costs.

Currently on my 3rd day in Maryland playing out of Maryland LIVE! Booked a first good day while playing PLO; and decided to break up my day into two 4 hour sessions of hold em/plo. Well.... after hour 6 I went to dinner w/ a buddy and (I'm stacking chips in a way that I cannot tell how much I'm up or down) but had an idea that I was cruising up about 250bbish ($1,250ish bucks)

He was like, "Just keep your chips on the table the game could be real good when you get back" grinder Kram just wanted to book the win; eat some food -- and then come back fresh. The definition of, "Good" games is a pretty broad statement and I've realized that I actually thrive in situations against semi good players where I understand exactly where they are in hands and how they're speaking to me. When I find myself in these overly gambling games against fish that are spewing and calling off 20bb bets pre flop -- the pots get bloated and I'm not sure where I am.... hrmmm.... what is my fucking point?

I have a problem, the problem is that I arrived onto a new poker trip. 5 days of hotel. Plan was 40 hours/week -- play my best. On day one I was tired after drive; lost $500 -- moved tables. Was up $1,700ish... lost a few hundred back and booked an overall day of +$1,000. Great. You are what you feel... and when I'm winning... the chips truly control my emotions. I know, I attempt to be Zen like but it's fucking impossible. I've moved down in stakes in attempts to get better control over this -- but it's inevitable. It's almost that it's not even about the $$$ at times but just winning or losing. No body likes to fucking lose. No body. Show me someone whose doesn't mind to lose, and I'll show you a loser.

So last night -- take friends advice leave chips. Come back to table and get into a profitable situation AKo vs A/10s ALL IN PRE FLOP against this asian chick who straddles and I trap from BB. She hits and I lose 100bb. No biggy. Run 4/4 into A/5 on an A/A/4/2/3 four-tone club board where my opponent doesn't realize he has straight flush and just flats my river value bet. (lol) Lose KK. Mis-play QQ from button(2x) where I win tilt against asian grinder kid who I know is opening to light. Actually pick up a hand he squeezes $35 I make it $105 from btn HU A high board he checks check back turn 7 river 8 chk turn through he fires $140 river I just pitch it and would never play my hand in that manner if I wasn't being a bitch. Pay off indian guy two streets for another 100bb and end up tilt racking after a 10 hour session (playing an extra two hours 'making up' for day 1's 6 hours) and I was sleepy, getting cranky, and most def. on what I've termed Win Tilt.

Ok -- so my current solution to when to leave:

Overall goal: Make $$$.

Specific Goal: +$5,000

Plan: Play lights out poker. Apply HALT. If I find myself +$1,000 at any given time; perhaps rack up -- hit and run; and re buy into a smaller game to give myself a chance to win more -- and not lose my overall momentum and will to want to play. You can still punch out a $5,000 week buying into smaller games with 100bb. They're awful.

Putting in more hours IS PROFITABLE. IF -- I AM NOT HUNGRY. I AM NOT SLEEPY and most importantly IF I'M NOT ON WIN TILT.

When I begin to protect the win -- I'm not playing my normal aggressive game so there's not nearly as much dead money. Also giving my opponents free cards, and being taken advantage of. If I book the win, know in back of my head I cannot lose no matter what... that's the smart play. Also keeps me productive so I'm not sitting at a bar or gambling in the pit being a degenerate.

Try this. Stick to it.

Goal: +$5,000 (already $1,300 there) so +$3,700 more in 3 days.
How? Start out in hold-em. Find yourself up $1,000. Hit and run. Re-buy into small PLO game for $500. If lose buy in re-set and check hours played / HALT. If 6-10 hours played it's ok to get the fuck out of there and re-set.



also will make BAD BLUFFS rather than BAD CALLS.

Bad calls as recently:

9/10o against texas kid that dallas straddles. During my 3-4k downswing in OKLAHOMA was pretty steamy and on a Q high board he checked back button. Turn Q for a Q/Q/4/10 board i bet he raised (felt he'd bet Q on flop) and I called. (was two flush draws) river bricked I checked he fired $350 I snapped and fucker had Q/2s. Lame.

Bad call with QQ against indian guy in Maryland when I open button $140 pot checked to me on 7/7/8 board two tone. Bet $70 (win tilt to small of sizing doesn't price in draws enough nor give me enough info if they have a real hand) folded to Indian dood HU on turn of 6. He fires into me $150. I flat. River: 8 he fires $250 I tank called thinking he was taking advantage of my tight image / talking about leaving.

Can beat 5/6. Busted A/X flush draws. Under pairs etc. he showed 5/9s and peeled a gutter on a paired board. Don't mind turn call as I have some equity ... but he's never double barreling there and I wasn't playing top notch. All good.

Thursday, March 17, 2016

Why am I here again? What am I doing? Where am I going?

Living a, "Go when you choose" or "Pick up and leave" when you feel the urge to lifestyle is great. In theory. It's great when things are exciting, and you're constantly on the move meeting new people and seeing new things. The problem with living like this is  -- going to new places and seeing new things requires resources. (money) The problem with meeting new people is; I in fact believe I've already met, and am with -- the person whom is the most important in my life. Not just now, but... what I hope to be, "Forever". (Re-reading it sounds so... dramatic... or pop-culturesque... though true)

I've fallen head-over-boots in love and it's taken me 5 years, 4 of them co-habitating, and a month trip to Asia to realize it fully. The saying goes that, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" or... something to that effect. Well, it does. I'm not jealous, or puppy-dogging my other-half due to being away. I have never in my life ever felt the effects of heart-sickness as I have the past few days. Just putting it from my mind to this txt has me overwhelmed with emotion. It hurts more than I can bear, and there's no logical reason for it. She loves me, and I her. I will be seeing her shortly. Perhaps when we're re-united I won't feel this way any longer; and looking back at when I picked up and started this last venture a part of me WANTED to be alone. After a week together, maybe I'll be singing a different tune. I truly hope that isn't the case. Watched a TED talks about long-term relationships which I found helpful, and the speaker mentioned that the #1 thing that emits DESIRE (not love) in a long-term relationship amongst all the thousands of couples she's helped w/ therapy is distance apart.

Making a mental note that I hope to burn into my brain that when I'm feeling annoyed, stressed, un-appreciative for the lady whom I love -- that I can bring myself back to THIS moment and feeling, t... smile in THAT moment of annoyance/frustration ... brush it off and shower her in love, understanding, appreciation and laughter. *sigh* Again, easy in theory. Though when they lady is driving you bat-shit fucking crazy ... it's easy to just run off at the mouth or fill her in on all her bullshit. We truly are two different fucking animals and I'm constantly a work in progress when it comes to the female category.

Spent two days binge watching TED talks and another point that seemed to pop up time and time again was that the happiest and most productive people keep a journal/diary. My blog has always been that for me, and I've attempted at personal journaling -- though w/o the blog aspect, and using pen/paper over a keyboard is nearly impossible. For one my handwriting is God-Awful! 2) ... my hand gets tired!

I always ponder on starting up a new blog as this blog, and (which I didn't pay and lost the domain... the content is stashed away somewhere and I need to print it out and get it re-uploaded so it's not lost) the reason for thinking of starting a new blog somewhere is that this sanctuary, was supposed to be completely anonymous. Somewhere along the way, I do not know how -- my name, and face got connected to the site. I am by no means, "a somebody" though I have ventured out into the world and accomplished a thing or two. ... *rambling* Huh? Point being this: it's difficult for me to share my deepest most inner thoughts and feelings when this blog isn't completely anonymous.


My thoughts and emotions are all over the chart recently. I feel like a 16 year old puberty stricken school girl; honestly. The only time when I can shut out the rest of the world and focus is when I'm learning something I've never had in front of me before. I'm slowly picking up the Japanese language.  I'm learning a few tricks on the stock market; and hopefully with more practice and training they can start to become lucrative.

I've collaborated with many of the most successful people that I know in my life (Mcgrath, Uncle, KCempire) and realize that ... no one's gonna do it for me. In fact, they're all to busy to truly even take the time and show me. Even if they could; could I absorb their knowledge and then apply it? Again, as I've known all along -- it's all up to me. It's me vs the world. Stop believing there's some easy will just happen tomorrow lifestyle and get back to what I know. I know Poker. Stop wasting time flinging around the globe spending $$$ and not being productive. If you are going to fly around the globe -- plan it out a little better to get the most bang for your buck.

I must remember that I CAN have my cake and eat it to. I CAN have a home and still travel the world. I CAN obtain a condo in FL and a house in Vegas. I simply just have to sacrifice for a little while to obtain it. I also have to create a clear vision as to where do I want my home to be in FL? Where do I want my home to be in Las Vegas?

Going to re-set myself; start with a roll of $10-$20k and double it. Will Zoho/Blog the progress and journal making it more enjoyable. Will enjoy the journey and not focus so much on the destination. Today, March 17th marks 37 days w/o a pill. My soul and mind feel amazing. I can sleep an entire night w/o waking up. I do not feel that irritable, itchy feeling I have while on a prescription medication that I am abusing. I believe. I have faith. I think longer term and hopefully this is the stent that holds up. It seems that over the years of functioning drug-abuse that I can only make it 3-4 months sober until I fall back into the trap. Things run smoothly for awhile until I crash and burn; and  re-start all over. I've been living this cycle for 5 years. A true, breathing... definition of insanity. That's me in the flesh!

So, Q: "Why am I here again?" that question being asked to life, and this blog. I'm here in life, to serve a higher power/purpose. What that is on a day to day basis I've yet to figure out. I've been asking/praying for that to fall into my brain, be shown to me in some way, shape, or form... unfortunately it hasn't made its way to me. So, until then... it's pretty ego stricken: make money, stay productive, love my lady. Be good to the people around me.

Q: What am I doing? Staying sober. Understanding that true happiness doesn't lay in pill-form. Also realizing that pills do not help my productivity. Not short term, not longer term. Never. 1 is never enough and 1,000 is to many. I am getting back onto the Poker-Band-Wagon. Going to re-set my financial situation, invest in some long term goals, start applying what I've learned about the market -- clean up some past investments/business things -- and get my mind 100% set on grinding out some $$$; buying a nice piece of property in the Las Vegas area, churning out a Euro roll to Jet-Set with my girl. That's the broad outlook as of today and I can build on that.

Q: Where am I going? Today and this week -- no where. I am going to stay present and enjoy my time in Japan. When I return state-side I am going to humble myself, keep expenses low in FL, set a 5-6 day work schedule and crush it. Taking a smaller investment and running it up into something. During this time I will decide if Las Vegas is in the cards for this summer... or if I want to perhaps fathom skipping the WSOP as I have yet to do this in the past TWELVE years.

Remember this: you make your bed and you lie in it. Life nor God will not give out anything that I am not willing to work for myself. As much freewill and choice that I have been granted, I have to apply humility each and every day in knowing that ... things are complex, and any number of possibilities could arise anyway.

Thursday, October 22, 2015


I've been to careful -- poker HAS become a grind.  In the past year to two years I've lost my luster for the game in general.  "Do something you love... then do it for money/a living; and tell me how much you love it?"

I do love it.  I have to really tap into my appreciation for all Poker has granted me; the places it's taken me; and most importantly -- the potential it has to really take my life to another level.  It's within the realm of possibilities that I go on a week or two rush; and my entire financial existence as far as I perceive it changes.

Poker has the ability to bring me that.  Stop believing that it doesn't.  If I continue to put myself into life-changing money situations; at some point it's going to happen.  Do not expect it -- simply believe in it; embrace that feeling -- and do the best with the circumstances provided to me.  The rest will simply fall into place.

Remember the revelation you had the other night; my life is better -- and I am an over all happier person when I truly believe in all thats Good; higher than I; "God".  I've lost that faith.  I truly do feel as that I'm regaining that feeling of hope and connection to something higher than myself.

I made amends tonight w/ a handful of people that I felt I was a little to brash towards / rude inside my local card room.  There's absolutely no excuse for me getting verbally abusive/crazy/talking insane shit while at the tables; NO MATTER HOW MUCH $$$ I HAPPEN TO BE STUCK. NO MATTER HOW BAD THEY SUCK OUT; NO MATTER HOW OUT OF LINE I BELIEVE SOMEONE MAY BE -- I WILL SHOW ULTIMATE RESPECT TO ALL HUMAN-BEINGS AND GIVE EVERYONE THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT.

I will spread enthusiasm amongst my poker acquaintances/friends and be an inspiration to those that I speak to. Not just about poker -- but with life in general.

I will absolutely destroy people with Kindness.  Everyday.

I will pray.
I will write / journal more.
I will appreciate my life, my youth, and everything given to me with full fucking appreciation.  Every day.

I've turned into a FUCKING poker zombie -- and it's awful.  My friends and peers have noticed.  It has to stop; or I have to change paths.

Win or lose -- I've set up a good bottom pyramid block that I cannot be phased.  Everything fundamentally will always be ok.  There's no reason to sweat the small stuff.  Continue compounding good decisions; and the break through WILL happen.

My games sharp.  Continue picking the brains of the passionate winning players that you've picked out.




Saturday, August 08, 2015

Pray the Hate out


Been fucked over financially by a handful of people over the years.  It's left a scar and made it difficult going forward with new people that I'm just co-workers w/ or just 'sort of' know.  One such instance cost me $10,000 and I think about it on a daily basis despite it being over 2 years now.  It's also drastically affected a close friendship of mine and I hate that.  Unfortunately money is important; and when I'm on a hot run I need to remember the hard times and not just dish out $$$ in crazy get rich plans/schemes/ideas w/o putting a lot more effort into them.

Also; I should always be 50/51% owner/share-holder as it protects me from getting fucked.

All those things are over.  All the people who didn't make good on their word or swindled you are dead to you.  It's ok.  I do not believe in forgive and forget -- though I do believe in fuck em; there's plenty of $$ out there to get and you cannot cry over spilled milk.

I'm mega focused and I'm just smashing the games last few weeks!  Gotta remember the only person stopping me from my goals is myself -- and that this is a dream; not a grind.

Friday, May 29, 2015

2015 dreaming....

I'm back! How I miss these cyber-space walls.  I should upload all my content from (I lost that domain but I have all my old stuff backed up) and toss it all back up here.  

Lets see -- since I've been gone I travelled four new countries.  Australia, New Zealand, Japan and St. Maarteen.  Pretty cool.  I truly needed a break from the grind of poker; and now I'm fresh and finishing up my 2nd month of 40/hr weeks. 

I do believe I may be the highest paid red chip player in the game currently -- and all I'm doing is going through the motions.  

I'm back in Vegas and the freshest I've been in years.  Gonna take a shot @ a few of these WSOP events; and other tournaments around town.  It's like -- you know what would be better than all the girls... money... love... or lust?  Being a fucking World Champion.  Or at least getting my career earnings over $100,000,000.  

That's the goal.  Exceeding 1 million in career earnings.  I'm just around the corner.  I can do that. 

No drugs. 
No strippers.
No over spending.

I'm all grown up and truly focusing on putting in solid hours day in and day out despite the roller coaster that poker provides.

Just me against the world -- and I'm solely relying on myself day in and day out.  I'm in the best spot I've ever been and truly excited to see how this summer plays out and the rest of the year.

Monday, January 05, 2015

Selling stocks starting a-new

On Monday Jan 5th despite the market having a poor day I decided to re-vamp my very piss poor stock portfolio.

In an attempt to build a dividend stock portfolio and slowly-but-surely make a little bit over time; I miserably failed.


Well, first off I just jumped in head first taking peoples advice -- rather than do my own due diligence and research which stocks to buy for myself.  Listening to advice is one thing -- but when it comes down to that BUY button; no one cares more about MY money than I do.

I sold 50 shares of WEAT @ $12.72 taking an overall loss of: -$100.45 (-13.7% of investment) 
I sold 16 shares of CORN @ $27.01 taking an overall loss of: -$89.11 (-17.03% of investment) 
I sold 25 shares of CCJ @ $15.84 taking an overall loss of: -$381.20 (49% of investment) 
I sold 52 shares of AA @ $14.93 taking an overall loss of: -$89.85 (10.3% of investment) 
I sold 278 shares of FTR @ $6.44 taking an overall loss of:  -$150.48 (7.71% of investment) **Hesitated on this one and put in a limit @ 6.52 trying to squeeze out like an extra $20-$40 bucks and ended up costing myself about $30.)

Dow Jones Industrial is on a down-swing today so perhaps I didn't pick the best day to sell.  Though opening @ 17,821 and in this moment sitting @ 17,492 I'm pawning these bad picks off when the Dow is at an almost history high (18,053.71)

Trying to analyze the charts; and just about two weeks ago on Dec. 16th 2014 she sat @ 17,068.  Then scanning back to Oct. (which is historically always a bad month) the market was @ a mere 16,100ish. Point being is I could have attempted to grind out even on these investments; though I have NO idea what I'm doing and I have a bad habit of sitting on a bad stock for years waiting for it to get even -- just to watch it plumment to pennies. (IE: SHIP, AG)

I'm proud of myself to let go of these picks as they weren't my own, and on a brighter note -- I jimmyed my way into some free trades talking to the broker saving about $50-$60!  Sweet!

You can lose yourself in the market; and a few years ago I was a strong believer that the world was ending and that I should stock pile guns, lighters, ammo, canned foods and precious metals. To be honest -- I have no idea what the future holds for this world of ours let alone our future financial climate.  Part of me believes the Dow could sky rocket over 20,000 by 2015s end.  Then there's this whisper in the back of my mind that says we could see another 2001, 2008 and watch her drop to under 10,000!

I'm not risking what I cannot afford to lose.  Another awful thing I was doing was spending $$$ that I didn't have!  2014 was a pretty bad year for me; and so I was buying stocks on margin.  My cash account has been in the red for the entirety of 2014 and the margin fees cost me: -$239.82.

With my pretty conservative approach; I need EVERY dollar I can accumulate to think I'm going to get ahead.  So I'm focusing my stock market approach to NOT re-investing dividends; and depositing a mere $50/wk into my cash account so when I wake up in a few months I have a little something to play with as a, "Freeroll".  (Still re-investing MSFT and AAPL).

Best part of these losses is that I have a handful more -- and I'm looking to pawn off smore stock to put together a down payment on a house. That's another post all in itself...

Monday, November 17, 2014

The best version of myself

Each and every day.

I will handle variance like a fucking champion.  I will make non-emotional decisions day in and day out.  I will not use the excuse of, "I'm playing tight/aggressive/solid to lower variance" as an excuse to make poor passive decisions.  Aggressive, fearless poker gets the $$$.  I will take advantage of my opponents weakness and pounce on opportunities when I see them/my spider sense goes off.  I will play extremely fearless/aggressive which also sets up a great table image getting me paid.

I will not be a pussy.

I will wake up and do push ups.  I will do 100 jumping jacks.  I will do sit ups.

When feeling frustrated at the tables I will go outside, take a deep breath and re-focus my mind.  I will use the mantra, "this is all a dream... not a grind".  I LOVE playing poker.  I have a bankroll.  I've worked extremely hard to get to this point and I will not let a little bad run turn me into a cry baby whining fucking pussy.

I am the best player @ the table 90% of the time.  This is not ego; this is truth.  I most likely have the most experience out of all the regs in my current local poker community.

I will play top notch poker each and every day -- saving and focusing before I head to Australia/New Zealand.



Wednesday, November 12, 2014

A fucked up PLO hand

I'm very sad as I'm coming off yet another losing trip.  Dropped into Biloxi while driving cross country and ground out 3 working days over weekend.  Lost.  Spent last week in Jax and was about even overall -- after tournament expenses.  Find myself in a $5/$10/$25 PLO game where I get 150bb's in pre-flop with AA/9/5 dry vs K/8s/J/10s .

I have about 5/6% equity, we run it twice.

On the first board my opponent hits a flush(where I hold the A blocker).  and on the 2nd board it runs out Q/2/9/4 and the dealer slams down a 6.  We're chopping.  Unfortunately the, "Last card doesn't play".  so the 6 comes back -- the cards are re-shuffled and Cut.  A player says, "you're not supposed to cut" so the dealer re-shuffles.  River pops off: Ko giving opponent straight.  I get stacked.

Mega tilt.

Last day of trip and I'm extremely fucking upset.  I'm not sure how much longer I can continue to sit and play live poker for a living.  It's so very slow and extremely non-appealing and not soul fulfilling.

The winning just doesn't out-weigh the losing.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Smashing it.  Sept. Goal:

40 hours / week logged @ Bellagio $5/$10

$250 a day enveloped win or lose for a savings @ end of month of $7,500.

Right on track week one; actually putting in 15 hours overtime due to enjoying myself while @ the tables!

Just continue to play top notch focused poker -- and the $$$ will come.  Don't play pit games.  Play even more aggressive poker when feeling gambly.  Push small +EV opportunities.  Don't play a hand of blackjack.  4bet cold in good re-squeeze spots rather than put $100 on a number on the roulette board.

Do create, fun poker shit rather than be a degenerate.


Saturday, September 06, 2014

Ranting and Raving


There's an older gentlemen that makes his way into the Bellagio every morning @ around 6am - 9am. His names Tom and he's always fresh and ready to play.  His overall attitude is chipper; though I've yet to play through his entire schedule and see him while losing. Human beings have many different emotions; and those emotions can really fire up when one is winning or losing a significant amount of money. Toms game is extremely ABC; (ABC needing to be re-defined these days) his game being  BC... I guess; if the A represented aggression -- and just how truly important that A is. If ABC is winning poker -- can one win with only one or two of the letters? Or does one have to use them in combination?

Obv. aggression is often talked about in poker.  It's something so very difficult to teach and then for one to apply it is... perhaps un-teachable?  Then if you put said player into a lvl where the money is significant to them.... how can one start pressing 2% - 10% edges w/o being affected by the swings? How can one properly apply aggression against the obv. more passive opponents?

Today while playing w/ Tom, he sat down and immediately won a nice sized pot where he was gifted a good 800bbs by a fish whom was the last victim of my graveyard shift.  I had lined up my table during the last 7 hours of play; and had made the mental note that as soon as this specific player either left or was bust -- I was leaving.

After Tom scoops this pot I chirp in with,

"Is that allowed?"
Tom, "What's that?"
"You're allowed to sit down and just start winning?"

Tom didn't find my heckling very amusing and didn't even attempt a grin.  He just responded w/ a very personal, and blunt answer... almost a rant of sort.

"Well that pot doesn't make up for the last year and a half...."

He gave a mini speech about how the last year and a half have been difficult, he's moved down to this limit so things are less stressful as the 10-20k swings of the high limit section of Bellagio can truly take it's tolls. I hear a lot of bullshit ego talk about playing @ higher limits, having big time money, the swings of the game... a lot of air and blabber.  Not this guy.  He's lived it.  I connected w/ his rant. Though when I analyze his game after this past weeks sessions -- Tom hasn't evolved.  He's falling behind todays poker curve; and... the WORST part about all this is that he doesn't even know it.  Perhaps even worse than that -- that he'll NEVER... EVER... EVER CHANGE!  He's so set in his way that I don't think he could ever change now.  He's an old dog.

Human beings and especially poker players in general are so self-absorbed into their own poker journey, life grind, building of ego/bankroll, sex, drugs, lies, gamble, lifestyle,  and the assortment of other distractions that many of them never take the time to even sit down and analyze their game.... or God-forbid start a blog / post on 2+2 / be 100% truthful w/ a poker friend to improve ones game.
They go for years either breaking even; making dues outside of poker somehow ... tricking themselves into believing their a winning player rather than take the time to analyze their game and see where there's holes.
I connected with the statement that I've heard 93432523432x 23432141234 + 2343124 times in my poker journey, "Making it in the poker community and being a professional is VERY DIFFICULT"
or how about this one?
"If you can make it as a professional card player you can make it in practically any other profession"
"Only 10% of players are winners -- 5% actually making a decent living"

How accurate are these numbers?  How have they fluctuated?  How were those numbers installed in the first place?  When I look around many of my games -- all around the country... ones where I spend weeks / months / years @ a time... there's a lot of either semi pros or 'pros'.  How many of them are lying to themselves? How many have a poker journal and use it religiously?

There is a slew of gold mines around the world -- though if you have the wrong shovels -- you may not get the gold.  Shovels being defined as what sort of approach to different type of game flows/games/player base in general. Am I using the wrong shovels during grayveshift/$2$5/ daytime $5/$10?  South FL to LV? Wynn to Bellagio? Isle to Hardrock?   For a better example say, the daytime(especially weekday) Bellagio/Wynn --> and then Aria day regs. in comparison to say South FL Hardrock / Isle line up. How much adjustments should be made?  Understanding that each scenario is completely unique; though there is an overall change in game flow / avg. vpip/pfr%/pot size and competence of opponent where a graveyard grinder style is weak against.

Defining grayveyard grinder style
(as daytime grinder style will differ):

Picking cherries.
i.e. waiting for the nuts.  Sitting deep enough to set mine / take flops w/ implied **Playing mathematical ABC** to get into situations w/ mega touristy/drunk/don't give a shit players whom; with the combination of their absolutely horrid pre-flop mistakes in combination w/ their sitting with to deep of stack ++ stacking off to light -- make picking cherries extremely profitable.

In contrast to Daytime grinder where one must pick up dead money over just defined player -- plus change gears and apply proper aggression to execute.  Switching into a much more of an attack the regs online player as opposition is so ABC robotic focused you pick up so much $$$ always knowing exactly where they stand in hands.  There hands are literally face up.  You never have a decision and there always on the defensive.  These players shut down as there profits aren't poring in w/ battling against other pros; but rather the poor players where picking cherries is all thats needed.

Now breaking down those line ups -- day LV games obv. much more difficult -- not due to the lvl of passiveness; it's the aggressive behind that passiveness..... wait wait wait, pounce.

There's not as many true pouncers in South FL.  The young pros are so much more scared.  At times; if I'm not willing to push the chips in; almost in enjoyment -- then they shouldn't be on the table in play as in my mind -- they're not in, 'In Play" they're in Marks table vault where he's not truly pressing his FE% to it's max and they're only going in w/ the nuts / OESD draws of the sort. Very rarely am I reading my opponent for a semi holding / over pair on a wet board, with the combination of being @ a specific area of poker evolution where I know they're capable of folding -- and then putting them to huge tests w/ all our past history and how they view my image investment.

To truly be a master -- one must do this.  Could you imagine pushing live poker variance to it's limits -- and "Playing Poker" every day rather than grinding?  Breaking out my street poker against regs day in and day out?  They'd go insane.

**Rambling here**

I want to go over these different topics:

* What was my hourly last month @ Aria $2/$5 / $5/$10? More importantly -- were certain hours of the day more profitable than others?

* S. Florida day games in comparison to LV day games. and 2013s cash day grind in comparison to Las Vegas 2014s, "Whenever I feel like it" schedule/grind.

* Defining what, "ABC" is in comparison to todays definition. Has poker ABC changed? Or do we just need to add a D? When to play, "Old school" and "New school" (or apply the D) poker and how to decipher where your opponents sit in the evolution of the game and then there personal poker evolution. As the game has evolved;  so have players -- more so than others.  How many different animals are there in this evolution?  How can I categorize them better and also bring myself outside myself to help me grow in to whatever I'm not seeing this game has to offer.

Finally defining the difference between, "Playing Poker" and "Grinding".  I say it often in conversation -- though what are the ins and outs of this? What is the difference?

* Running it twice with AK / AKs... do the odds change? Flatting w/ AA behind OR's.  When? Certain position w/ opponents, obv. though also overall 3b%/ isoers/ foldy fingers.

* 4betting out of the blind against obv. squeezers/isoers.  When?

* Auto opening button in timed games against never protecting BB/regs.  Perhaps I'm not seizing specific opportunies in live cash, chiseling away @ the big picture in very small spots -- where I could be increasing my hourly by a few bucks by just tweaking something so very minor -- and fun to apply.  Brightening up my game -- making it more fun; all the while swinging my, "Image Investment"  back in the other direction.

* Defining, "Image Investment" and taking a none tangible subject/category and making it more understandable rather than just a theory.

(touch up on this later)

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Few days off...

Trying my best to play during weekends while in Las Vegas as game selection and overall fish factor is much higher.  Either way; I'm implementing the strategy and idea that, "It's me vs myself".  In the back of my mind something was telling me to slow down -- so I did.  Slept an extra day and took the weekend to just lounge around and get some rest.

Feel a little guilty; but do not want that to leak over into todays sessions where I'm trying to, "Make up time" by playing to fast, chasing money -- or playing 30+ hours if unnecessary.  Despite the fact that I'm about to meet my first goal (and the $$$ pile isn't really there) due to dentist(2k) dr. ($300) rent(last month 1.5k and squirreling this month $1k) I'm still doing well and just have to keep at it.

Rome wasn't built in a day.

Enjoy today for what it is. Just do your best.

Saturday, August 16, 2014

On track

Half way through month with about 100 hrs under my belt.  Just shy of my first $10k goal.  More concerned about my long degenerate sessions rather than my play; to be completely honest.  Need to start drinking my coffee's w/o sugar for future health and perhaps play 10-12 hr sessions rather than 18-22.  Perhaps it's just in my mind but I do believe my heart rate could be sporadic.  Also I'm finding it hard to sleep after I'm exhausted and coming off a 20+ hr session despite the fact that I should be extremely tired.

Play 20 hours sleep 12 is strange; but it seems to be how I make it work while in Las Vegas.

Friday, August 08, 2014

Future self

Over analyzing about, "Where will I be in a year" is not a healthy habit.  Set a plan; put it into motion.  Day by day -- breath by breath.  Once you have a vision in motion it makes living so much simpler. It's filled w/ action and excitement rather than anxiousness and worry.  When you're living day to day in correspondence w/ a, "Vision in Motion" it feels like a new age Zen.

Moment by moment.

I set a goal of $10,000 @ $2/$5.  I'm $1,700 away.  At one point last session I was more than likely there; and lost it back.  No big deal.

Short term goals consist of:

Pay off all out-standing CC debt as it's blocking up both conscious and subconscious thoughts.  Do not constantly be thinking about how you can grab $12,000 via plastic.  Having a bankroll is BORROWING FROM YOURSELF.  I got laxadazical a bit this year once I arrived into Las Vegas.  This happened due to my lack of passion for the game; and also my lack of motivation to earn.  I invested in a select group of people; and put to much trust on others... again.  Do not forgot how difficult it is to create a stack of $10,000... when you do not have $10,000 to risk.  Do not take for granted while making, "Small" investments just how much day to day grind goes into it.

In the future -- when I invest a $10,000 chunk -- the project will be handled by me and I will RESEARCH RESEARCH RESEARCH every last spectrum of whatever it is that I am investing into.

Time is my most valuable commodity.  Money is a way of calculating that.

I need to BALANCE my work and leisure -- and I also need to take care of my body better.

After poker journal ticks over to +$10,000 what is the next goal?

Put together pocket money for FL -- but also start putting together a, "Take shot fund".  When those amazing Las Vegas big games go -- I have to be in there.  THAT'S WHAT I PLAY FOR.  How good am I?  Why have I never, "Gone for it".  I've lost $10,000 - $20,000 plenty of times now -- but NEVER in the thing that acquired the money in the first place. (Not saying I want to lose...) just absolutely silly how I never even give myself a chance.  Not saying be filled w/ greed -- simply saying have excess money to , "Poker gamble with" when the game arises.  I'll be fresh, ready with a box full of chips ready to attack that fucking game.


Hourly is important.  Though from this moment forward there is no way to truly predict what the next 40-100 hours of poker will provide.  Just STAY IN THE MOMENT.  WHEN FEELING ANXIOUS GET UP AND TAKE A WALK -- REMEMBER IT'S JUST ONE LONG GAME -- DO NOT FEEL SELF-PITY FOR YOURSELF OR GET UPSET AND GIVE TIME / CHIPS / HARD WORK AWAY.




Do not be a pussy!  If the chips are on the table they are IN PLAY!

After hour 12 of last session -- how on point was I, really?  I've got set over set so much the last few months that I forgot just how valuable a set truly is.  Checking back my set when the Ace high turn to lower variance etc. is just God Awful.

Why didn't I break down his range? He could have had JJ, QQ, KK also.  Not to add all the SC he could hold (he ended up having K/6s) and I gave him a huge free draw costing me another bet on the river and a $1,000+ pot.


Saturday, August 02, 2014

August 2014 focus.

I will not sit in the $5/$10 game.

No matter how lucrative, juicy, or great it looks -- I will put blinders on and play $2/$5 my bread and butter LIGHTS OUT!

I will not slack.  I will not tilt.  I will get proper rest.  I will not return home after 12+ hour sessions; shower and go back into the casino w/o sleeping first!

There will be more order in the chaos.

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Practice what you Preach

You get what you put in!  I know better to attempt to play tournament poker for a living.  No matter how good one is; there's an un-believable amount of variance.  One could go MONTHS before turning a profit and making that top 3 finish.  It's math -- it has nothing to do with metaphysics, karma, etc.... right?

What is faith if it does not endure when it's being tested?

What are my goals for this coming week? Month? Year? .... 5 years?  Where do I want to be?

How am I going to get myself there?  Every day wasted is a day I could have spent earning.  Life happens fast; and a, 'Hot' week in my career could be life changing.  I will not let it slip past by being a degenerate or playing video games.

Remember most importantly.... THIS IS A DREAM NOT A GRIND


Never allow what happened this WSOP main event to happen again.  I have to turn my brain on going into day 2.

I have to set my alarm and be up an hour or two before cards are in the air.  I play better after I've, "Warmed up" and been awake a little while.

I played like complete dog shit on day 2.  There's no excuses.