Back to Blogging + Back to the Basics.

Hello! It's been awhile. I find it comical that throughout my blog at times I'm writing to the reader, and other times directly writing to myself. What would Carl Jung say about this?! Who knows. Who knows if psychoanalysis is even worth while. Who knows anything? What is even worthwhile? Am I spending my time and energy in a respectable manner? Whom is to judge this? What is driving me to do the things that I am currently doing? Where is it that I'm trying to go?

Having a mother whom is a CPA and an immigrant from Japan -- money was always an extremely important topic. In fact even now when I haven't spoke to her for a few weeks her first question is always "Are you making any money son?" It's been implemented in me since I can remember. By no means am I saying that she has any lack of love or anything to that effect at all ... just I do believe it's a different sort of relationship in comparison to my complete white-boy buddies.

Money. Money. Money.

I earnestly have come to the conclusion that if I were to acquire a pocket-roll of $50,000 it would alleviate so much anxiety and stress. Unfortunately the mountain seems so high to climb these days due to these silly excuses:

1) My passion for poker is at an all time low.
2) I'm currently house-poor and have dumped off most of my liquid bankroll.
3) My over-head is higher than the current cash I have in my pocket; and for the past 24 months since my house purchase I am continually dumping off what I have for life expenses just to keep my head above water.


How do I alleviate these problems?

1) Get your head out of your ass and just appreciate the game. Play 7 days a week even if it's only for 3 hours a day. That's still 20 hours a week and on some of those days you'll find yourself having an enjoyable conversation / laugh and before long a 10-12 hour session will ensue. To quote the great Woody Allen "Half of life is simply showing up". It really is true. I have talent and even if that's not the case -- I've put in well over my 10,000 hours (Malcolm Gladwell) and poker is second nature to me. Mistakes are truly minimal these days.

2) Spend less. Save more. Work harder.

Rambling. If I start to blog again these will not be proof-read. I do believe blogging/journal ing will hopefully reduce anxiety / stress and help me find a clear mind.

I have so much going for me -- and wake up feeling alright. Just ... one would believe that I should be over-whelmed w/ joy. I have an amazing partner. I am healthy. I own a beautiful home. Yet why is it that I feel so un-fullfilled? What is it that I'm thriving for?

My sponsoring thought to those questions are this:

1) You already have what you believe you desire.
2) You just have to take more time and create this perfect world that you want to create. (This sound so cliche and secretish ... but it's true.

I am going to put in hours. I am going to make great decisions day in and day out. Slowly but surely, if I apply the money acquired into the right places -- I will slowly begin to build up another solid bankroll again. That leads to bigger games, bigger money -- and tournaments for piles of cash all in one sitting. Not only that but my ego will thank me later.

Work. Stop being lazy. Save money. Don't allow girlfriend to be a poor influence on you. Don't make excuses. No one cares more about your well being than you do -- and especially your financial state. (after writing that it felt extremely self-centered and narcissistic but it's absolutely on point)

Everything doesn't have to be accomplished in one day. Take your time and if you find yourself off-kiltered during a session remember that poker isn't going anywhere ...